Success for me is in fine print and failure is in daring: Sanjay Manjrekar
Former cricketer Sanjay Manjrekar on his autobiography, his troublesome relationship along with his father, his dogged insecurities and his love for Kishore Kumar
In your autobiography, Imperfect (Harper Sports), one phrase you utilize for your self — a self-conscious public performer — stood out, maybe, as a result of it suits you so nicely.
Not a lot self-conscious however aware about measuring as much as my very own requirements. As a public performer it shouldn’t matter what you assume since you’re not performing for your self however for the general public. You may assume you might be horrible however folks will come and inform you that you’re fairly good. But that is my nature — it’s finally about how I really feel. The worst factor I do is to have a look at my efficiency and dislike it. Now, I’m wiser, I simply do my factor.
People felt the video of Sanjay Manjrekar interviewing himself in the course of the e book launch suits the picture they’ve of you being self-obsessed.
People who have gotten that notion have gotten me incorrect. I’m truly any person who doesn’t wish to be in the forefront. When I’m internet hosting a present, it’s not about me, it’s about that present. I used to be at ahead short-leg for my first Test and the final, once I was 10 years into my profession. That is the definition of a group man. Cricket is a really small a part of my life. It is work. In reality, if the dialogue is not cricket, you will note me collaborating much more.
Was the chapter about your father essentially the most troublesome one to write down?
When I began writing the e book, I don’t assume there was any particular path that I’d laid out. It was about issues that impacted my life. My father (cricketer, Vijay Manjrekar) performed in the ’50s and ’60s, so it wasn’t like speaking about him would get folks . But he had an impression on my life in a unique approach. I wanted to deal with that. Some folks may really feel it’s a non-public factor, however I’ve bought no issues with folks understanding of my non-public life. The solely folks I used to be involved about have been my sisters. They learn it and have been completely fine with it.
You write concerning the insecurities you picked up at an early age that impacted your profession. Do you assume you will have gotten over them with time?
I’m certain when the inspiration is being laid, if one thing goes incorrect, it is going to have an effect on your grownup life, too. But that is one thing I’ve made peace with. The concern with which I grew up (of his father) was there, however there have been quite a lot of good issues occurring as nicely. There was a mom I felt near, I had two fantastic sisters, an prolonged household; cricket from the age of 12 or 13.
That section whenever you bought a bit conceited, having come again from the West Indies tour in 1989, was that you just turning into your father in any approach?
No, the factor was, my father and I hardly interacted. There was no approach for me to imbibe any of his traits. At a deeper, psychological stage, I don’t know the way that works out. The conceitedness and the cockiness have been based mostly on my success at the moment. That is the place some persons are blessed with quite a lot of maturity. For instance, (Sachin) Tendulkar was so gifted that each time he went out, he came upon that he was much better than the opposition. But by no means as soon as did he develop into conceited. You can see the identical with Virat Kohli as nicely.
At many components of the e book, I felt like there are simply two very totally different folks in you…
Excellence drives me. I get very excited if any person is distinctive. When I watch films, if there is an distinctive efficiency I get emotional and I nicely up. In cricket, I loved the Test matches, something that I noticed and felt was higher than what I’ve accomplished or I can ever think about doing. Jonty Rhodes in the sector, Imran Khan, Richard Hadlee, they made me loopy. I’ve a disdain for average, common performances. It’s not one thing that I’ll smile at and settle for. The stage is meant for very particular folks.
Sachin Tendulkar used to name you Mr Perfect and Mr Different. At some level you write that it was troublesome being totally different so I selected being good. You are form of totally different.
Tendulkar used to assume that I intentionally did issues in another way. In Singapore, round 1996, in direction of the tip of my profession, we’d gone to a watch store and have been taking a look at varied watches. In the tip, I picked up a watch that was referred to as Revue Thommen, a model no one had heard of. I picked it up as a result of I favored it. He stored telling everybody, Sanjay has purchased a watch referred to as Revue Thommen. He rested his case and that watch was his proof.
Your e book is about perfection. Where did it come from? Did your insecurity play any half in it?
That’s the character of issues — such as you wouldn’t know why you do sure issues. When I began enjoying, it was about doing it correctly. Not getting out and not taking dangers may very well be associated to insecurity, however desirous to play nicely was a pure factor. I’m the identical about the whole lot, together with my handwriting.
You are pedantic together with your singing too. Your spouse was stunned you favored your current Rabindra Sangeet recording.
Yes, and, lately, in Nagpur, I carried out at a household perform. It was one of many few events the place I heard myself and went, ‘Wow that’s good’. I’ve to develop that much more.
Why Rabindra Sangeet although?
From my obsession with Kishore Kumar. I’ve heard all his Hindi songs. Then any person gave me a CD of his Bengali songs and I linked with the melody. That’s why it’s so in style and ageless. So, as a result of he sang them, I heard them.
When did you uncover your musical expertise?
I used to participate in inter-school singing competitions, however there was one turning level. My chartered accountant has solely cricketers and musicians as purchasers. Those are his two nice loves. So, Suresh Wadkar had a bit perform at his place and that is the place everyone began singing. Shankar, Ehsan, Loy have been there and Kunal Ganjawala. Then Dilip Vengsarkar bought me to sing as nicely. I sang and I may see folks have been usually stunned. That’s once I began taking singing severely, and taking classes to grasp the fundamentals. That was about 10-12 years in the past. Since then, I’m actually into it.
You point out repeatedly in the e book that you just bought into cricket for fame. But you additionally write that being delicate was considered one of your obstacles in reaching greatness. Those two issues don’t go hand in hand.
I didn’t have a look at fame or recognition as a burden in any respect. I at all times loved it and wouldn’t have it some other approach. But I’ve discovered a approach of dealing with public response. On Twitter, in the final three-four years, I’ve not checked out any notifications outdoors my followers. I solely get notifications from folks I comply with. Again, I’m very delicate there. Some fool would have stated one thing and I might nonetheless bear in mind it greater than the nice issues folks say about me. That is my nature. Success for me is in fine print and failure is in daring.
There you have been making an attempt to be the most effective you might probably be and there have been additionally the likes of Imran Khan and Viv Richards who actually checked out you with nice expectations. Did it get an excessive amount of?
My expectations have been larger than all of theirs (laughs). I simply set the bar too excessive for myself. That is the essence of all my troubles. I’m not pleased with what I’ve. My damaging qualities as a performer, as a cricketer, at the moment are my strengths as a commentator — the over-analysis and all. As a cricketer, you don’t assume an excessive amount of and that’s a bonus. You simply go on the market and you sweep off failures by saying he took an excellent catch; I might assume I performed it away from the physique. People like us develop into good commentators.
You write about teammates you couldn’t respect regardless that they have been nice guys. Do you assume you made it worse for your self by who you have been?
Yes. In reality, I’m a slight misfit in India. The approach I feel, the way in which I write — usually I feel I’ve written a benign piece, however the way in which Indians react to it at all times shock me. I can not join with mainstream India and the Indian cricket group was mainstream. I didn’t match into the tradition the place you might not say something aloud, couldn’t air your opinions. I didn’t make that effort and I didn’t need to. If I used to be that form of an individual in an Australian or English group, it will have been okay.
You grew to become the villain after criticising Sachin Tendulkar.
I knew that I used to be saying issues however I had no thought concerning the form of response that will come out of it.
Was there ever a degree in this second innings in cricket, the place you considered firming your criticism down?
I’ve toned it down. I’m extra cautious. I’m additionally aware of the truth that as I’m saying issues that must be stated, I don’t develop into a bitter individual. Then you’ll begin dropping platforms. I’ve been ready to attract the boundaries.
Bitter is a phrase that is used for lots of people with the fame of getting quite a lot of potential and not succeeding to that stage.
Bitterness comes when folks really feel injustice was accomplished to them. When I give up, as a result of I used to be at all times exhausting on myself, I held myself accountable. There wasn’t anyone else. Sunil Gavaskar tells me about lots of people from his time who performed 70-80 Tests however have been nonetheless bitter as a result of they felt they may have performed extra. I’m by no means bitter. I don’t assume I used to be exceptionally gifted or proficient. I feel I might need overachieved with the expertise I had at 15 or 16. Two years later, I used to be enjoying for Mumbai, and two-three years later, for India. And, once I was on a free footing, folks like Rahul Dravid and Sourav Ganguly have been coming in.
Your commentary profession is nearly 20 years lengthy, and cricket profession was 10 years. At what level, does this develop into your precise profession and the cricket turns into one thing you used to do too.
Actually, this has develop into my precise profession and I’m very aware of that. I don’t reside in a idiot’s paradise. The purpose for scripting this e book is as a result of I’m nonetheless considerably in the limelight. A variety of 20-30-year-olds know me extra as Sanjay Manjrekar, the commentator. If I used to be not on tv after ending in 1997, I might not have written the e book. And sure, I’m extra this than that. These are two separate folks now. That occurred a very long time again.
Do you assume the celebrity and success got here too early to you?
I don’t assume so. Even at 30, my downside wasn’t getting too carried away. It was my nature that got here in the way in which. I do know precisely what I might have accomplished.
Apart from films, do you will have free time as a commentator on excursions? Are you always looking out for new pursuits?
I’ve very restricted pursuits. Even eating places tease me that I am going to the identical place on a regular basis. I don’t discover an excessive amount of. I uncover one thing and I simply follow that. At the second, I’ve my fingers full with Netflix. After that, I’d discover one thing, however positively not mountaineering and all that.